


Lost and Found

by snailieshell



Category: Beast (Band)
Genre: Angst, Assumes the reader has knowledge of Hyunseung's pre-debut Big Bang fail, Band Fic, Fluff, Hyunseob, Incomplete, M/M, Probably never will be finished?, just dumping stuff I've written, wonky timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 07:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5240162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailieshell/pseuds/snailieshell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows Yoseob and Hyunseung Pre-debut through just after debut?  Sort of at a stopping point?  But I haven't written anything for it in years so just thought I should post it in case anyone would like to read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this sloppy unfinished mess. hahaha maybe it stands alone, but I had initially planned to continue it, and never got around to it, clearly, so it feels unfinished to me. Also this was supposed to follow the time line of Beast's debut, but I don't know everything/don't have a perfect memory, so eh.

“Where do you belong?”  
What a question. To open a conversation like that seemed almost cruel. The words were light, and the boy had probably said it with the intention of helping him navigate the large gym but Hyunseung couldn’t think so simply.  
Where the fuck did he belong? He had no idea. His whole life was one big swirl of disappointments and bad decisions and hard work and hopes. He didn’t know why he was even here. No one was expecting anything from him, he could just walk out right now and no one would now the difference and no one would care. Except the boy, still staring at him. He would know, and he was expecting something from him. An answer.  
Hyunseung sighed, his eyes finally leaving the large mass of people to focus back on the boy who was starting to look slightly concerned.  
“Are you lost?” he asked.  
Hyunseung felt his stomach fall to the floor, certainly if he were anything it was lost.  
“Are you okay?” the boy stepped closer, shaking his shaggy black hair from his eyes, “Are you looking for someone? We’re uh… it’s a dance… practice… thing…”  
At that Hyunseung seemed to focus more, “Right, I know.”  
“Oh! So you are here on purpose,” the boy brightened and gave him a quick bow, “I’m Yang Yoseob. I’ll show you to your group.”  
Hyunseung bowed back, “Jang Hyunseung,” he sighed, and realized he really couldn’t back out now, he gave in, “I’m with Star.”  
“Oh!” Yoseob paused, and Hyunseung had the terrible fear that the boy recognized him, “You must be new? I’ve never seen you. I know a few of them.”  
Hyunseung nodded and followed after the other boy as he led him through groups of people some mulling about, some dancing in groups, some watching someone dance solo. It felt strange to be in this sort of hustle again and he fought himself ten more times about leaving on the way. Finally Yoseob pointed and pat his arm, walking off in a different direction. He approached the group slowly as if he was afraid now that he’d finally made it that they were going to tell him to leave.  
There were two guys dancing and a few people watching. One of the watchers noticed him and turned with a smile and bow, “You must be Hyunseung,” he nodded reaching out to shake Hyunseung’s hand.  
Hyunseung nodded dumbly, bowing back, “Listen… if I suck, you can tell me, okay?”  
The man chuckled and shook his head, “I’m positive you don’t. But don’t worry; I’ll give you a couple days.”  
Hyunseung nodded and moved to the side to watch the two finishing their routine.  
“He said you’d just gotten back in the game recently…?”  
Hyunseung sighed, “I stopped dancing for a while, I just started up again in the past two months.”  
“You’ll be back in the groove before you know it.”  
Hyunseung hoped he was right.  
His dance instructor had led him here; he knew a few of the guys and knew their style would fit well with Hyunseung’s. The fact that they were the Star Dance Group, his instructor told him was certainly fate. Hyunseung wasn’t sure he believed in fate but he did love stars.  
He didn’t love them for corny ‘I want to be famous’ sort of reasons. It had nothing to do with that, and everything to do with shape. He liked the way they looked. The shape of a star was pleasing to him and it was the same as a human four limbs and a head. The star in their solar system was life giving. The other stars in the sky granted wishes, they were beautiful, powerful and mysterious. Maybe even romantic. Even in nature there was the starfish. It didn’t even have a brain, but all five limbs moved as one being in unison working together. He wanted to move like that, wanted his body to move as one solid mass, without thought. Each piece with its own motions but working towards one similar goal.  
That was what a star meant to him. It was everything.

*

He ended up getting by quite well in the group, working together with them to learn more and get better. Over the next year he grew close with the group in the way that he depended on them to get better, but he also grew closer with some of the others. Yoseob was one of them, it turned out he was not in fact a boy, but only a year younger than him, and close enough that they became quite friendly with each other.  
Recently, he’d followed Yoseob to his practice a few times and he was there again today, taking a break as he watched Yoseob talking with one of his teammates.  
“I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t think it translates,” Yoseob argued.  
“It’s the only move to do,” the man shook his head.  
“It looks sloppy!” Yoseob repeated himself for the fifth time.  
“It’s challenging.”  
“Even when everyone is in sync, which we can’t seem to do anyway, it looks sloppy!”  
“Any dancer would know how hard it is to pull it off, why are you arguing with me like this? Just relax.”  
Yoseob’s face grew red with annoyance, “Relax!? You’re making a dumb decision, and you won’t listen to reason. It might be hard but it looks bad so what does it matter if it’s hard if it’s worthless?”  
“Go sit down. I’ll find someone else to do it; a twelve year old doesn’t look good doing it anyway.”  
Yoseob threw his hands in the air and Hyunseung stood to touch his arm gently, leading him out of the room, to go sit on the curb of the street. It was late and Yoseob sat down with a huff and glanced over to Hyunseung.  
“I’m not crazy, right?” Yoseob asked uncertainly.  
Hyunseung shook his head, “You’re not crazy.”  
“Just because I…” he took a deep breath to calm himself, “Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions.”  
Hyunseung smiled and reached over to wrap an arm around Yoseob’s shoulders.  
“I’m not crazy…”  
Hyunseung rocked the younger slightly, back and forth, “It looked dumb. Obviously it’s hard, but why risk injury for a dumb move?”  
Yoseob nodded, inflating a little under Hyunseung’s arm at the validating comment and was silent for a long moment before he turned towards Hyunseung a little, “I’ve been meaning to ask you…”  
Hyunseung raised an eyebrow, looking over to Yoseob.  
“Do you still sing?”  
Hyunseung stiffened a little. He knew that Yoseob was trying to make it still, but he had all but given up on that. This was what he was doing now. He was going to be a dancer and that was okay with him. “No… Not really.”  
“But you can.”  
Hyunseung shrugged a little.  
“I’m backup dancing now, you know,” Yoseob fidgeted a little, “But there are talks that they’re putting a group together now…”  
Despite the conviction of Hyunseung’s decision to be a dancer, there was still deep down the conviction he had made years before to become an idol. His heart clenched a little.  
“I think you’d be a good fit.”  
Hyunseung took his arm back, anxiety causing him to feel like curling up and disappearing.  
“You don’t have to, obviously,” Yoseob reached over to give Hyunseung’s arm a squeeze.  
“I need to think about it…” Hyunseung breathed, a combination of fear and hope and annoyance swirling around inside.  
Yoseob’s thumb brushed against Hyunseung’s arm with a smile, “Hey, where do you belong?”  
Hyunseung gave a soft laugh and glanced over to Yoseob, “Fuck if I know.”  
“But I know,” Yoseob spoke softly, giving Hyunseung’s arm another squeeze.  
Hyunseung watched him curiously.  
“You belong on that stage, showing off, not in the background.”  
Hyunseung cringed a little, looking away, “There’s nothing wrong with the background.”  
“There is for someone like you,” Yoseob smiled, reaching out to turn the other’s chin back towards him. “You deserve it,” he nodded.  
Hyunseung shook his head, “No I don’t… I’ve screwed up chances…”  
Yoseob leaned in and kissed Hyunseung’s cheek, “Mistakes make you human not unworthy. I want you there… Just come with me a couple times. There’s no harm in that.”  
Hyunseung sighed, “Fine… but I’m not joining… I’m just coming as your friend.”  
“Start practicing your voice,” Yoseob grinned.  
For being upset about the stereotype his looks left him with, Yoseob was very adept at using them to his advantage. This was how he’d suckered him in to his practice sessions too.  
“Any group with you in it doesn’t need my voice, Yoseob, I’ve heard you sing.”  
“But a group with me in it needs a dancer like you,” Yoseob smiled.  
Hyunseung shook his head, “You can pull off any choreography.”  
“But I can’t freestyle. I can’t dance like you.”  
Hyunseung shrugged a little.  
Yoseob leaned in close, wrapping his arms around him.  
“You know I already agreed to come right?”  
Yoseob beamed up at him, “I know…”  
“Then what are you flattering me up for?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Yoseob in return.  
“Because…” Yoseob grinned, setting his cheek on Hyunseung’s shoulder.  
“That’s not an answer,” Hyunseung complained.  
“Because I want to see what’s in here,” he murmured, tapping his fingers against Hyunseung’s chest.  
“What are you talking about?” Hyunseung grinned a little, amused.  
“You’re settling, this is you settled down, giving in… And you’re wildly good despite it… I want to see what you’re like thriving.”  
Hyunseung’s expression fell to a faint smile, “I changed my mind.”  
“About what?”  
“You. You’re crazy. I don’t want to follow a crazy person.”  
“But you will.”  
“You sound so sure…”  
“I am,” Yoseob smiled against Hyunseung’s shoulder, “Because I know you.”  
“No…” Hyunseung protested softly, not wanting to have this conversation.  
“Because I know you… and I know some of the things you’ve felt and I know that you want more.”  
Hyunseung sighed and shook his head, wringing his hands in his nervousness.  
“So you’ll come with me and you’ll be amazing.”  
“No,” Hyunseung murmured again, “I’ve given up, you’re right, and now I’m no good.”  
“So you’ll work on it. And you’ll get good again.”  
“No.”  
“And yet you’ll be there with me,” Yoseob smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

Hyunseung felt so ticked off by Yoseob’s sureness that he briefly told himself not to go, but Yoseob was right, and he was there with him the next practice.  
Hyunseung wasn’t sure if Yoseob had told them not to mention his past, or if they just didn’t care, but no one so much as left a question unfinished. He was glad they weren’t bringing it up because just being in a similar situation was dredging it up enough on its own. He felt sick with anxiety just being in the building despite it not being much different than the rooms he’d been dancing in.  
When the trainers came in later Hyunseung froze and Yoseob was in front of him immediately.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Uh…”  
Yoseob touched Hyunseung’s arm and led him out of the room, “Hey… are you okay?” he asked again once they were in the hallway.  
Hyunseung looked down a little and took a deep breath.  
“I’m sorry, did I push you…?”  
Hyunseung reached out and took a hold of Yoseob’s wrist, “Just give me a moment…”  
Yoseob frowned softly and reached to pull him into a hug, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you come…”  
Hyunseung shook his head, hugging him back tightly.  
“The truth is… I’m scared too… I don’t want to fail again… You make me better… Something about you… I wanted you with me,” Yoseob breathed.  
Hyunseung was quiet for a moment, feeling a sense of conviction rising up in him that he hadn’t felt in a while, “You won’t fail, you’ve got me with you. I’ll see you become a star.” Yoseob needed him. It was a better confidence boost than fifteen compliments.  
Yoseob was silent for a long while before he nodded, whispering a quick thank you.  
“Now lets get in there and kill it,” Hyunseung gave him a squeeze and even though his heart skipped a beat when he stepped back inside, he danced and he even sang and Yoseob was never far. He knew he was doomed, that he was going to see it through to the end, even if it meant heartbreak again.

*

When the cameras came in Hyunseung had to take another break, and when they told them it was the six of them, and Doojoon was the leader he felt like he might have a panic attack. That night on a bench near the practice rooms Yoseob sat with him for an hour in silence even though they were both exhausted.  
“I feel like it’s happening all over again…” he finally whispered.  
Yoseob reached over and, after brushing his fingers against Hyunseung’s wrist, forced his way between Hyunseung’s clenched fingers, holding his hand. “It won’t be like last time.”  
“How do you know?” he asked, an almost desperate note to his voice.  
“Because I’m with you this time,” Yoseob smiled, squeezing his hand.  
“You can’t save me if they don’t want me…”  
“Only if you don’t want saving.”  
“What does that even mean?” Hyunseung asked in a fierce whisper, and he turned away from Yoseob in a childish attempt to keep his dignity even though he’d suddenly started crying.  
“You’re the real deal, Hyunseung,” Yoseob assured him, “And I can’t wait to be onstage with you.”  
“Don’t make me promises,” he turned back to Yoseob, a scowl on his face, “Don’t say things you can’t make true,” he begged, “I couldn’t take it… Not from you.”  
“I can make it true,” Yoseob argued back and then he was tugging Hyunseung by the back of the neck into a kiss, his lips all soft need and his hand cutting off the circulation to the older boy’s fingers.  
Hyunseung was stiff at first, but he melted under the warmth of Yoseob’s lips. It was a strange mixture of liquid hot and warm comfort and he kissed him back without thinking about what it meant or where it was going, for thirty seconds at least, until Yoseob pulled back.  
“I can make it true,” he nodded again, brushing his thumb over Hyunseung’s cheek bone.  
Hyunseung had been so startled by the kiss that he’d stopped crying and he debated now if that might be why he’d been kissed in the first place, anger quickly rising, “Don’t feel sorry for me.”  
Yoseob actually laughed a little, “I feel a lot of things for you, Jang Hyunseung, but sorry is not one of those things.”  
Hyunseung blinked, watching Yoseob uncertainly.  
Yoseob smiled gently at Hyunseung, giving his hand another squeeze, “Listen, I really like you… and I understand if you don’t feel the same… but it’s how I feel… and it’s not going to go away.”  
“Really…?” he looked uncertain still.  
Yoseob nodded and leaned in again, ever so close to Hyunseung’s face, “Would another kiss convince you?”  
“You just want to kiss me again,” Hyunseung mumbled, a pout to his voice, but he didn’t say no.  
Yoseob reached up with his other hand to cup Hyunseung’s cheek and then his lips were on his again, parted slightly to create a gentle suction against Hyunseung’s lips.  
Hyunseung squeezed Yoseob’s hand again, suddenly unable to ignore the fluttering of his stomach. Hyunseung pulled back this time and he put a hand on Yoseob’s shoulder to keep him back, “I don’t… I mean… I can’t think with you so close.”  
Yoseob smiled slightly and obliged him, though he brought Hyunseung’s hand up to kiss.  
“I just… I don’t understand why you would like me…” he mumbled again, a soft blush spreading over his cheeks at the peppering of kisses his hand was receiving.  
“You want a list? Or just the simple reason: because I do.”  
“You’re out of my league.”  
“I don’t see a league, I only see you.”  
“All those great people out there…”  
“But they aren’t you.”  
“But what am I? Nothing special…” he protested.  
“Are you kidding me? You’re my star.”  
Hyunseung blushed and his shoulders sagged as he leaned in and kissed Yoseob again, “I like you too.”  
Yoseob smiled and reached up to wipe the left over tears from Hyunseung’s cheeks, “We’re going to make it, Hyunseung. This is it.”  
Hyunseung sniffed a little and gave a bitter laugh, “There’re six of us, Yoseob, someone is going home.”  
Yoseob shook his head, “It’s not either of us.”  
“It’s not you, your voice is perfect. But there are other dancers,” he smiled a little, “Why would they need another? They wouldn’t turn their back on Kikwang. And Junhyung is our strongest rapper… I have nothing that will keep me here.”  
Yoseob shook his head, “You have a beautiful voice, and you dance like a pro, you’ve got this perfect face,” he teased, cupping the older’s cheeks, “An awesome body, and you’ve got this,” he nodded, tapping his fingers against Hyunseung’s chest.  
“What good is that?” he asked, slightly amused.  
“It’s stronger than any one else’s’. You can push your way through anything.”  
Hyunseung looked down, a contemplative look crossing his face before he nodded, “I can… I could survive it if I failed again. I’m the best choice to send home.”  
“Hyunseung…” Yoseob frowned, his eyes tearing up suddenly, like before it hadn’t even seemed like a possibility.  
“I just… I have one request…”  
“What’s that?” Yoseob asked, his voice thick with the tears that tipped the balance down his cheeks.  
“Don’t leave me… If I don’t make it, please don’t drop me too, I know you’ll be busy, but just a text here or there… that’s all I want.”  
Yoseob shook his head, turning away from Hyunseung, “Don’t be dumb, why would I?” He hit their hands against his own thigh in annoyance, “Why would I leave you? If you don’t fight to be with me though…” he shivered with the unspoken threat.  
“Don’t be dumb,” Hyunseung repeated with a smile, reaching to turn Yoseob back towards himself, “Even if I thought I had no chance in hell, you know I’d fight until they kicked me out on the street. I can’t help myself. I give everything.” He kissed Yoseob soft and sweet again and pulled back.  
Yoseob’s eyes fluttered open slowly with a wistful sigh, “I thought you’d be rougher…”  
Hyunseung laughed and a blush reached down his cheeks, “M-maybe later…”  
“So you are?”  
Hyunseung fidgeted a little, “Sometimes…”  
Yoseob grinned and stood up, “I’m looking forward to it.”  
Hyunseung blushed brighter and stood too, changing the subject to one of the dances they’d worked on today so that the conversation couldn’t get worse as they walked home.


	3. Chapter 3

The day they learned that the company was considering cutting Junhyung Hyunseung danced and sang like none of them had ever seen. When the trainers asked what he was thinking about he answered ‘ice cream’ and his bland tone went over with only the other Beast members realizing his extreme sarcasm for what it was: anger. He figured it wouldn’t be good to tell them that he’d been thinking about pushing them into a pit of venomous snakes and filling it over with cement then dancing on top of it while it was still wet so that everyone would know he’d done a jig on their graves.  
After practice, without discussing it, they all sat down in a circle in the practice room, hands clasped and silence reigning.  
It was Hyunseung who finally broke it, twenty minutes later, “Fuck this,” he declared, dropping Yoseob and Dongwoon’s hands. Kikwang and Dongwoon looked particularly startled by his outburst.  
Doojoon seemed to remember at this moment that he was the leader and he nodded, “Hyunseung’s right. This is Beast. Right here. We are Beast,” he enthused, looking around at all of them. “Without this company, without the trainers and all their damn opinions, we are Beast. All six of us. We don’t need them to tell us who we are. Let’s say no. It’s up to us. We won’t let this happen.”  
Junhyung was silent.  
Doojoon continued, “Let’s remind them of what they’re missing without him. We’ll remind them. Without Junhyung, we aren’t Beast.” Doojoon sounded strong, and Hyunseung couldn’t help thinking that the trainers had made the right decision despite their most recent terrible choice.  
“How?” Dongwoon frowned softly.  
Doojoon was quiet for a moment. “We don’t have to be obnoxious and make a scene. Let’s put together a folder and put it on the desktop of every computer in the building. Junhyung’s talents stand on their own. That will be enough.”  
Finally Junhyung looked up with tears in his eyes and he shook his head, letting out a weak laugh as he wiped his cheek, “Thank you you guys…”  
“You’d do the same for us,” Yoseob smiled and they all closed around him.  
They stayed up nearly until it was time to come back in the morning, saving Junhyung one at a time onto the computers.

*

A couple days later, Yoseob suggested that they let a camera run while they messed around, which wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary since sometimes they taped fake game shows and other scripted interactions. Hyunseung didn’t think anything of it until two days later Yoseob had disappeared with one of their trainers and not come back. He waited until he was on a break and searched the halls for him, finding him down a quiet hallway after looking for about fifteen minutes.  
“Yoseob, what are you doing?” he asked as he stepped over to him, touching the shoulder of the shorter man, having to lean over as a result of Yoseob’s position, sitting on the floor.  
Yoseob jerked, looking up over his shoulder at Hyunseung, his eyes red with tears and Hyunseung was down beside him before he could even get out a complaint, “Go back to practice, I’m okay.”  
“You don’t look okay,” Hyunseung replied, sliding around to face Yoseob who was trying to avoid his gaze.  
“I’m fine, really,” the younger shook his head, reaching out to push Hyunseung’s arm away when he reached for his hand.  
“Okay, fine, so everything’s great,” Hyunseung rolled his eyes, “But what happened?”  
“N-nothing.”  
“Yoseob.”  
“Nothing.”  
“Yoseob, seriously…” Hyunseung let out a soft growl of frustration.  
“Nothing happened.”  
Hyunseung pursed his lips and pushed Yoseob’s shoulder, causing the younger to lose his balance off of his feet and fall back onto his bottom, rolling slightly into the wall.  
“Hyunseung, what the hell-“  
He couldn’t finish before Hyunseung was over top of him pressing his lips to the smaller boy’s with a hand on his cheek and the other on the ground helping to keep his balance, straddling Yoseob’s leg.  
Yoseob let out a warm puff of air when Hyunseung finally pulled back, watching him with a blank expression.  
“Remember that…?” Hyunseung asked, his gaze searching Yoseob’s features closely, “That means I’m a part of your life that isn’t leaving no matter what… So tell me what happened.”  
Yoseob’s gaze lowered to the floor beside them and he blushed, “It’s stupid…”  
“No it’s not, I know that already.”  
Yoseob was quiet for a long while but just when Hyunseung opened his mouth to complain again Yoseob finally gave in, “They were going to cut me.”  
Hyunseung’s blood ran cold, and he stared at Yoseob in disbelief.  
“They were going to cut me, but they didn’t because Rain Sunbaenim saw us playing around the other day and said they should keep me.”  
Hyunseung was stuck, but he tried to look past it, his voice empty as he replied, “Well, of course he did, of course you’re safe.”  
Yoseob sniffed, “I just… I don’t know how to feel…”  
Hyunseung shook his head, not having any answers worth anything, “When did you find out?”  
“They told me they were keeping me earlier… but I… I lost it… I’ve been crying ever since…”  
Hyunseung frowned and sat back, leaning against the wall beside Yoseob and sighing before he reached over to tug Yoseob into his lap. “Just… don’t worry about it, I guess…”  
“I’m just… so relieved… I… I said we should play, because I wanted something to remember with you guys…”  
Hyunseung stiffened again, “You knew.”  
Yoseob nodded almost imperceptibly.  
“How long?” Hyunseung asked, an almost pleading tone to his voice.  
“A few days…”  
“A few days… Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered, his chest feeling on fire suddenly.  
Yoseob shook his head, “I don’t know, I couldn’t…”  
“Yoseob…” he grit his teeth for a moment, “That’s really unfair…”  
Yoseob looked back at Hyunseung, pain in his eyes as he touched Hyunseung’s cheek, “You’re angry with me…”  
Hyunseung was quiet for a few minutes, avoiding Yoseob’s gaze before flickering his eyes upward, “Of course I am… I don’t want to be a hindrance… I don’t want to be someone you have to hold up. Someone you can’t share with… I want to push you when you push me, I want to hold you up because you make me… happy, you make me happy.”  
Yoseob sniffed softly and turned to wrap his arms around Hyunseung’s shoulders tightly, burying his head against his neck, “But that’s exactly why I couldn’t say anything…” He let out a quiet sob, “I want to have you with me, I want you to be that for me, just like I want to be that for you… and… being cut… I can’t leave you, I promised, I promised… Saying it out loud would have made it real… And I… couldn’t stand it being possible…”  
Hyunseung let out a noise of frustration, his throat tight with the tears Yoseob’s words had brought out, “You’re with me, you’re here, Yoseob… You don’t have to worry anymore… What’s real is this… You and me, and Beast.”  
The younger boy nodded, and held tighter to Hyunseung, “I’m sorry, I should have said… I’m sorry.”  
Hyunseung shook his head, craning his neck as he pushed Yoseob back to give him a soft kiss. “It’s done. And you’re here. It doesn’t matter.”


	4. Chapter 4

When they knew they had made it the joy they felt was so intense that most of them didn’t really know what to do. Hyunseung couldn’t even process and when Yoseob tugged him into the other room his speechlessness was not helped any by the mind numbing kiss that Yoseob planted on him. Hyunseung clung to him until he ran out of breath and had to pull away.  
“I told you so,” Yoseob breathed, “I told you so; I said I’d make it true.” He grinned and seemed unable to help himself as his lips moved over Hyunseung’s cheek and then over his jaw and neck.  
Hyunseung gasped and held tighter to Yoseob, “I can’t believe it, I… I can’t believe it.”  
Yoseob laughed and picked Hyunseung up, twirling him around, “I told you so,” he repeated, grinning, “And we did it on our terms, with everybody.”  
As soon as his feet hit the ground again Hyunseung pushed Yoseob into the wall, cupping his cheeks with a grin as he pressed his lips to the younger’s full lips, parting them with his own to nibble on Yoseob’s bottom lip.  
Yoseob gasped softly, clinging to Hyunseung’s shirt as Hyunseung’s tongue traced softly over his lips, “O-oh…”  
Hyunseung breathed out a happy sigh and pulled back with one more nip of Yoseob’s lips, “Thank you…”  
Yoseob shook his head, “Thank you…”

*

When they moved in together Yoseob closed them in the closet and in the dark he fumbled his way back to Hyunseung, his hands colliding with Hyunseung’s chest, groping more than necessary to find his way.  
Hyunseung laughed and reached up to tug him closer but he wouldn’t budge, staying about a foot away, his hands slowly caressing down from Hyunseung’s shoulders over his chest. The older blushed, but the room was pitch black so it went unnoticed by Yoseob whose hands were dipping down over his belly and ribs.  
His stomach jumped a little and he huffed, “Tickles…”  
Yoseob grinned and after squeezing Hyunseung’s hip he reached up to touch Hyunseung’s cheeks to make sure their lips connected, pressing closer to him.  
Hyunseung wrapped his arms around Yoseob tightly, sliding his tongue between Yoseob’s lips, a soft noise leaving him when Yoseob’s tongue met his, the slide of them together sending fire through his veins.  
Every time they touched Hyunseung could feel that spark growing within his stomach, he was almost afraid of where it was going. These moments were so few and far between but the need he felt for them was growing and he was scared to find out what would happen when the need out grew his patience.  
Yoseob clung to Hyunseung’s shirt, slipping his fingers underneath it to caress Hyunseung’s bare skin. A soft moan left him as Hyunseung’s hands wandered down to cup his ass, pulling him tighter, nipping at his lips and tongue.  
Just then there was a shuffling outside the door and Hyunseung pulled back and reached up to turn on the light just as the door was opening.  
“Found the light just as it became useless,” Yoseob sighed.  
“We could have been stuck in here for days,” Hyunseung groaned melodramatically, patting a very confused Dongwoon on the back with a quick thanks as they walked out and left him there.

*

The day of their make overs they stared at each other from across the room as their make up was being put on, unable to keep their eyes off one another. When they were done with that they moved on to their wardrobes and finally, finally, they were in front of one another.  
Hyunseung reached out and pinched one of the puffy locks of blonde on Yoseob’s head with a slow smile. Yoseob reached to touch the geometric accessory hanging across Hyunseung’s chest, knocking his knuckles against it. The older of the two snickered softly, “You look cute…”  
Yoseob’s head jerked up, his eyes burning for only a second with annoyance before he sighed, “I look even younger, don’t I?” he asked forlornly.  
Hyunseung hated to add to Yoseob’s complex but he shrugged, “You do. But… I think it looks good. I like it.”  
Yoseob smiled a little, his eyes searching over Hyunseung’s face, “What do you call this?” he asked as he inspected Hyunseung’s multicolored, multilayered hair.  
“A drunk stylist,” Hyunseung teased and then shook his head, “I think the stylist started calling it Tetris hair.”  
Yoseob laughed a little, his gaze drawn back down to Hyunseung’s eyes, never more alluring than they were right now, rimmed with eyeliner, “I think it looks perfect, the color is especially nice… with the white.”  
“Hyunseung, you’re up,” Doojoon called, ducking back out of the room.  
Hyunseung straightened, a slight grin on his face that made Yoseob shiver as he brushed past him, “I can’t wait till we get home.”

*

They got back in the early hours of the morning and when most of the boys headed immediately for the bedroom Hyunseung headed to the bathroom.  
“Where are you going?” Kikwang grumbled on the way by.  
Hyunseung yawned, “I can’t go to sleep without showering.”  
Yoseob headed into the bathroom and Kikwang raised an eyebrow, “You too?”  
“I need to wash my face.”  
“Have fun,” Dongwoon groaned, his tone making it clear that he thought they were crazy as he disappeared into the bedroom.  
When the door closed behind them Yoseob locked the door, turning to find Hyunseung pulling his shirt off already. He sighed softly and was instantly against the older’s back, caressing up his sides to follow the shirt’s progress.  
Hyunseung visibly shivered and turned back around to Yoseob, a gleam in his eyes, his hair disheveled. “I didn’t want to say anything there… But I think the blonde is kind of sexy,” he grinned, leaning in to kiss him hard, his fingers fisting in Yoseob’s hair, his knuckles gently pressing against Yoseob’s scalp.  
Yoseob let out a soft noise of pleasure, his hands clutching at Hyunseung’s back as their tongues moved together.  
That spark flared again in Hyunseung’s stomach and he pulled back, his breath panting out warm against Yoseob’s lips, “Really sexy…”  
Yoseob grinned and let out a heavy sigh, tilting his head to touch his forehead to Hyunseung’s, “I said something embarrassing today…”  
“Oh? How embarrassing?” Hyunseung laughed, raising an eyebrow.  
“Really embarrassing…”  
“Who’d you say it to?”  
“The cameras…” Yoseob blushed at just the memory.  
Hyunseung licked his lips, “What’d you say?”  
“I was watching your solo photos… and I… may have said… that I was falling in love with you…” Yoseob blushed brighter.  
Hyunseung froze, watching Yoseob uncertainly, “You meant it…?”  
Yoseob looked down, but faced with Hyunseung’s bare chest, he looked back up. “I think so… I… think I love you… a little more every day.”  
Hyunseung grinned slowly and leaned in to nuzzle against Yoseob’s lips, “Why are you so perfect?”  
“I’m not,” Yoseob argued, even though a warmth was spreading through his chest at Hyunseung’s positive reaction, his fear of being rejected shrinking down.  
“You’re all I need…” Hyunseung breathed pulling Yoseob tight to himself, and burying his face against Yoseob’s neck.  
“Are you sure?” he asked, reaching up to smooth his fingers through Hyunseung’s silky hair.  
“My trainer told me… that it was fate, because it was called Star… but I met a brighter star that day and I’ve never been able to look past him…” Hyunseung kissed Yoseob’s neck gently, pulling back, “I fell in love with you when I realized that you believed in me more than my mother,” he teased. “When you knew I was strong when I thought I was weak…”  
“That’s been a long time then,” Yoseob teased with a soft grin.  
“So it has…” Hyunseung grinned back, and tugged Yoseob’s shirt up a little to press his palm against the blonde’s lower back, kissing his neck again.  
“Just… say it again…” Yoseob sighed out, reaching down to squeeze Hyunseung’s hips.  
“I love you,” Hyunseung purred softly, sliding his hand up Yoseob’s spine to hold him closer, “I love you…”  
Yoseob melted, “I love you too… so much…” he leaned in to kiss Hyunseung soft and slow.  
Hyunseung smiled, licking his lips after the kiss, “Good, because I can’t give you up now…” He sighed and pulled away, “I need to shower though and if I don’t stop now then I might pull you in with me.”  
Yoseob blushed and leaned forward to drop a kiss over Hyunseung’s heart, “Maybe next time.”  
Hyunseung smirked, and dropped his pants, reveling slightly in the other’s gasp as he stood in his boxers to turn the shower on.


	5. Chapter 5

“What if they hate us?” Dongwoon whispered.  
“It doesn’t matter what they think,” Junhyung grumbled.  
“Actually, them liking us is kind of the whole fucking point,” Hyunseung added.  
“Hyunseung,” Doojoon warned, “That’s not helpful…”  
Kikwang pulled Dongwoon into a hug.  
Hyunseung set his jaw, looking down to the ground with a sigh, “Sorry…”  
“We’re all on edge…” Yoseob sighed, “But use it to give them a show. Beast is the best when we’re together.”  
“That’s right,” Doojoon nodded, “This is it. Tonight we’re going out there and we’re changing our lives. Every single one of us has faced failure and we won. We got up and we found each other and we’re going to turn blood, sweat, and tears into success. This is it. Huddle up.”  
The group of them huddled, a mass of limbs tangled together, six heads pressed together in the middle and when they could all feel their hearts beating as one Doojoon nodded.  
“Beast fighting!”

*

The Showcase went well, better than could be expected of six boys who hadn’t made it elsewhere. The 4Minute girls were there supporting them, but after the show they left them alone.  
The six boys sat in relative silence on the way home, afraid to critique themselves and find out later that the public had completely differing opinions. When they got back to the apartment Doojoon led them to the living room, holding their hands.  
“Let’s make a promise…” Doojoon looked around at each of them, “That we’ll continue on as Beast for as long as possible. Let’s never stop fighting to be together like this. Never forget this feeling.”  
“Do we have to make a blood pact?” Kikwang cringed.  
“I would actually rather that than spitting…” Hyunseung cringed.  
Doojoon laughed and Junhyung told everyone to shut up.  
“We don’t have to do any of that stuff,” Yoseob chuckled.  
“Promising is enough,” Doojoon chuckled.  
“We promise,” they chorused, and the air felt simultaneously lighter and heavier.

*

The morning of their official debut on the music programs Hyunseung couldn’t eat, which was rare for him, despite his small frame. Yoseob sat beside him all day. Not that no one else noticed his nerves, but they were all nervous, and besides, Yoseob had reached him first. Yoseob had no words of encouragement, not feeling particularly stress free either, but he stayed beside him and that was all he needed really.  
When they got to the building and had to weave their way through other idols, Hyunseung felt overwhelmed. He bowed when he was supposed to, but for the most part he was in his own world. Focusing on the performance for fifteen imaginary run throughs was much easier for him, and before they went on, Hyunseung squeezed Yoseob’s hand so hard that the younger was afraid his fingers would go numb and he’d drop the mic.  
In the car ride home this time they were not quiet, every critique falling out at once and 99% of it was negative until they stopped to at the apartments to get out.  
“I think we did okay…” Doojoon spoke softly, but they all heard him.  
When they got inside the dorm, Hyunseung headed for the bedroom instead of the shower like usual and after a few glances after him, Yoseob was the one that followed him, crawling into his bed behind him.  
Hyunseung sighed softly into his pillow, “I’m okay…”  
Yoseob rubbed his fingers up Hyunseung’s back gently, “You did well, Hyunseung… You did good.”  
“I’m okay…” he repeated, his voice a little thicker.  
“It’s okay if you aren’t,” Yoseob smiled, reaching up to move Hyunseung’s hair from the back of his neck, leaning to drop a kiss there, and then between his shoulder blades.  
Hyunseung shivered and his breath hitched, “I was terrible, I don’t deserve this, I’m not ready. I never will be, what was I thinking?” he made each statement after a thick breath, his throat closing.  
Yoseob sighed and stretched out beside Hyunseung, working his way under his arm and into his side, “It’s understandable to have those thoughts… but to think that those thoughts are true…? That’s bullshit, Hyunseung. Are you going to give up?”  
“Don’t call it bullshit, Yoseob, it’s how I feel,” he defended with a growl to his voice though the nasally tone took away the effect.  
Yoseob sighed, wrapping his arm around Hyunseung’s waist, “So are you going to give up?”  
Hyunseung groaned, turning away from Yoseob.  
“Well?”  
“No, Yoseob,” he growled again.  
“Then this is just for tonight?” Yoseob asked, following in him to nuzzle into his neck, his arms winding around Hyunseung’s waist, his fingers caressing over the elder’s belly.  
“I-I don’t know, Yoseob…” his voice twitched as his stomach did, squirming away from Yoseob, “S-stop it.”  
Yoseob held tight to him, continuing to caress his stomach.  
Hyunseung rolled in Yoseob’s arms, glaring, “Cut it out, will you?” he hissed, his annoyance tangible.  
“No,” Yoseob stated simply, tossing a leg around Hyunseung’s hips, his hands moving to his sides to tickle.  
“Stop it!” he complained loudly, though he was a little desperate this time, pushing at Yoseob’s hands.  
“No,” Yoseob breathed again, clinging tighter to Hyunseung to pull him into a kiss, waiting until Hyunseung had stopped fighting to tickle him again.  
Hyunseung jerked away from Yoseob with an unwanted laugh, “Why? Can’t you just leave me alone…?”  
Yoseob smiled, “Because I love you.”  
Hyunseung cracked a smile and when Yoseob’s fingers moved against his sides again he laughed softly, squirming away.  
Yoseob grinned and leaned in to kiss him again.  
Hyunseung sniffed and started crying again, pulling the blonde into a few more kisses, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”  
“It’s okay,” Yoseob smiled, caressing Hyunseung’s cheeks.  
“No it’s not, I’m sorry I said that, I don’t want you to leave me alone, I’m sorry…”  
“It’s okay… I understand,” Yoseob shook his head, kissing Hyunseung’s tear stained cheeks.  
“But I don’t,” Hyunseung complained, “Why am I suddenly terrified when we’ve finally made it?”  
“Maybe you’ve been fighting so long to prove yourself that… now that you have to stop and listen to those other people again… you’re scared of what they’ll say…”  
Hyunseung took a shuddering breath, “I’m terrified I’ll drag you down, I’ll ruin it, and everything was just another waste of time.”  
Yoseob sighed softly and ran his fingers through the elder’s hair, “It’s not a waste being with me, is it?”  
“No, no of course not,” he sniffed, “Of course not…”  
“Then when you doubt Beast, remember me, and know it was worth it.”  
Hyunseung was quiet for a moment before he looked down.  
“What?” Yoseob questioned, tipping Hyunseung’s chin back up.  
“Nothing…” he shook his head, hugging Yoseob tight.  
“Come on,” Yoseob prodded softly.  
“I just…” Hyunseung paused again, “You’ll be annoyed…”  
“So let me gripe and then kiss it better.”  
Hyunseung sighed, “I worry that it’s not worth it for you…” he spit out quickly.  
An almost angry smile crossed Yoseob’s face and he shook his head, “Then you must not believe me when I tell you that I love you… Because loving you and knowing you love me too… that’s an amazing feeling that… I haven’t felt before. So how could it not be worth it?”  
Hyunseung frowned and pulled Yoseob even tighter to himself.  
“Honestly, Hyunseung, I love you… and you’re making this ten times sweeter for me.”  
Hyunseung smiled slowly and reached up to cup Yoseob’s cheeks, “How’re you so perfect…?”  
Yoseob smiled and rolled them over, pulling Hyunseung on top of himself, “Let me ask you something instead…”  
Hyunseung let out a soft huff, “Okay.”  
“Where do you belong?”  
Hyunseung chucked and Yoseob was a little too aware of the way it made him move against him, “Right here in your arms, where else could I belong?”  
Yoseob grinned, “You’re damn right.”


End file.
